By Marc S. Sanders
The Universal logo comes up with that familiar music across the blue globe. Then it goes in reverse and turns black and gold to introduce a new franchise known as the Dark Universe. This is the first installment. The problem is of all the famed monsters in the studio’s library, they probably shouldn’t have started with The Mummy. Brendan Fraser’s attachment to this mythical Egyptian horror is still widely accepted, and Tom Cruise is no Brendan Fraser.
This reinvention begins much like the 1999 film by telling of a Pharoh’s daughter who believed she was the sole heir to the kingdom. Yet, betrayal happens and the beautiful princess is mummified into eternity, buried deep under the desert and laid with vengeance on her mind. Elsewhere, another tomb is discovered under the streets of London. Could there be a connection? A dagger with a red stone might have the answers.
Jump to present day and Tom Cruise is back with another character who can run very fast. He is Nick Morton and with his partner he clumsily runs and jumps over rooftops in the Egyptian desert while closely evading military air strikes from above. Why the military is dropping bombs is apparently irrelevant. Tom Cruise just needs something to run away from.
A massive crater opens up and the pair along an expert archeologist named Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) come upon a tomb. Nick mistakenly frees the Egyptian princess buried within and they transport her, still contained in her coffin, back to London aboard a cargo plane. Only now Nick is seeing visions of what once was and becoming familiarized with an ancient language with which he had no prior knowledge. Nick has been chosen.
When you place Tom Cruise on board a military cargo plane, what do you think happens? It doesn’t have to be called Mission: Impossible to be a seemingly impossible mission. The crashing airplane sequence is impressive, not the best, but I’ve seen this stuff already. I’ve seen this stuff already with Tom Cruise. I do not need to see it again.
The Mummy cannot decide what it wants to be. It has some good ideas but just when I think I’m watching another Brendan Fraser swashbuckler with a monster, Tom Cruise must pound it over my head that this is a stunt filled trajectory.
Russell Crowe is a mysterious character offering voiceover narration during a prologue. He later reveals his identity to Nick. I will not spoil who he turns out to be. Let’s just say it is likely you heard of this guy. It’s hard to believe that Nick has not, and Mr. Cruise does not play dumb very well. This man has an interesting laboratory that contains relics and possessions that belonged to other well-known cinematic monsters. Frankly, this picture should have exclusively belonged to Crowe’s character who comes off very dynamic and fresh while setting up a whole – forgive the pun – universe for a long line of films to come.
Alas, Tom Cruise sets the stage. He’s okay in the role, but between his temptation to be Ethan Hunt while adopting a Robert Downey Jr sarcasm and the imperfect Brendan Fraser/Indiana Jones hero, it all gets muddied. I just didn’t like this guy. Cruise delivers what each chapter of the script demands of him and none of it is consistent. Near the end of the film during the final battle, Cruise offers up a one liner that comes nowhere near as close to what Downey, Fraser or even Arnold Schwarzenegger could have accomplished.
The only clarity I find in the visual effects is that they look rushed for final print towards a summer blockbuster release. The Mummy Princess (Sofia Boutella) unleashes her monster minions to pursue Nick and Jenny while they are escaping in a clumsy looking ambulance. As the creatures attack the top and both sides of the vehicle they are shaken off, thrown into trees, or run over. They all look like monster vomit accompanied by loud hissing to startle your hearing.
This iteration of The Mummy is partly assembled by the guys who made the Transformers movies where the robots look like metallic throw up mush. Guys like Robert Orci and Alexander Kurtzman, the director, are poor artisans at the sci-fi/adventure/horror genre. They know how to helm movies like this about as well as I do. I don’t know shit, but I do know the visuals here are pure junk while being an enormous step back from the Fraser films of twenty-five years ago.
The Mummy ends like the Marvel movies with the hanging threads of what we should expect. I’m game! Only, don’t do it like this. Anything but this, please.
Sadly, as quick as the Dark Universe got started it all got canceled. This film was poorly received and did not generate the box office bonanza the studio was counting on. I recall a fascinating publicity photo that assembled Cruise, Crowe, Boutella, along with Javier Bardem, and Johnny Depp. All were publicized to occupy upcoming installments of this new franchise. The potential was so strong to see the likes of The Mummy, the Invisible Man, the Bride of Frankenstein, the Creature From The Black Lagoon, The Wolfman, Dracula and Jeckyl/Hyde sharing the screen together. This could have been the antithesis to The Avengers and Justice League with gags of gore to delight audiences.
I swear when I saw that Dark Universe logo at the beginning, I was ready to love this movie. I really was. Unfortunately, The Mummy works hard to be a Tom Cruise actioner with his preserved thirty something looks adhered to an assortment of unfinished and indecipherable special effects. Its script from David Koepp (Jurassic Park) is exhaustingly incoherent.
The Mummy was a long-term investment by a million-dollar corporation. It’s too bad the wealth went into junk bonds though. I urge Universal to try again. There is something to be made here, and it cannot get worse than this.
2 UNPAID MOVIE CRITICS!!!! 